Joe and Todd's Wedding

by - Monday, February 02, 2015

I come from a really big family. My mom and dad are each one of six kids, so I have lots of aunts and uncles and cousins.

My uncle Joe (center) with just a fraction of the cousins

When I was 12, my mom's youngest sister got married. It was the first wedding I had been to probably since I was 4 years old (when my mom's other sister got married). I remembered having so much fun, and just thinking weddings were the best and wanting to go to another one ASAP.

Because this is a long post, here's a picture of me at that wedding. It was during my awkward phase (which some might say I have yet to grow out of)

The only member of the family of marrying age, who could possibly grant me my wish of another family wedding immediately, was my mom's youngest brother. So at the reception, when I was busting awkward moves on the dance floor with my cousins, I remember saying something like, "All we need is for Uncle Joe to get married."

There are many reasons this comment would have been super insensitive to your average 30-something, but it was like a million times worse in this case because my uncle is gay.

I didn't know it at the time. In fact, at that age, I'm pretty positive I didn't even know the word "gay" and what it meant.

But fast forward about 10 months and I'd sort of realized and asked my mom about it. And of course, one of the first things I thought of was that stupid comment I made at my aunt's wedding. Foot in mouth.

I guess somewhere in those 10 months, I'd learned the world can be a pretty crappy place some times, and that some people can be pretty horribly intolerant. And even unintentionally, people can and do say hurtful things.

But let's hit fast forward again and jump another 16 or so years into the future. Things certainly aren't perfect in our present day world, but some places have passed some pretty big deal laws lately to make things a bit more equal.

New Jersey is one of those places, and that's where I was this Saturday to celebrate my uncle's wedding.

Celebrating the wedding of two of my favorite uncles.

My uncle Joe and Todd have been together for the past 10 years. In those years, Todd's become a part of our family. He's been at birthdays, graduation parties, weddings. Joe and Todd have taken me to Broadway shows and dinner in New York. They've called me on the phone after shitty breakups to make me feel better.

Joe and Todd were actually married back in July, but held off on having the reception until this past weekend. The reception was at this gorgeous, recently restored bed and breakfast.

My mom and her brothers.

They DIY'd their centerpieces because Todd has an eye for that kind of stuff, and my uncle admitted to discovering Pinterest for the first time, which made everyone crack up.


My other uncle gave a simple and sweet toast, and one of the guest's selfie sticks was busted out for the cake cutting pictures.

One of my favorites from the night. Selfie stick for the cake cutting.

The whole thing was simple, classy, elegant and fun...everything my uncle has been telling me a wedding should be for as long as I can remember.

It may have taken 16+ years from when I first said I wanted my uncle to get married so we could have another family wedding, and I'm really glad we were finally able to celebrate that.

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  1. Ellen Marx6:17 PM

    Uncle Joe told me about your blog. I enjoyed reading about him and Todd. Kisses to you for this beautiful tribute to my cousin and his partner.