At the end of August, I wrote a blog post about what I was doing to rebuild my fitness after my C-section. Back then, I was pretty happy with the progress I was making. The scar massage was really helping with mobility around my incision, and I was starting to build back my strength and endurance by lengthening my walks. I was hopeful I'd be able to start easing back into running.

But my body wasn't healing properly after the C-section. At my 6-week follow up appointment with my OB, my doctor told me to monitor a few of the symptoms I was still having and if they hadn't resolved by 8-10 weeks, I'd need to come back in for an ultrasound. 

Unfortunately for me, those symptoms didn't resolve on their own. So in early September, they got me in for an ultrasound, which showed something abnormal near the internal incision from the C-section. In order to get better imaging and give my doctor a better sense of what was going on, I had to go for an MRI. 

After waiting for a week to get the results of the MRI, I had another appointment with my OB to talk through the options. Going into the appointment, I knew I'd need another surgery, and the MRI would dictate how major of a surgery it would be. Because the theme of this pregnancy and postpartum period was that I have the worst possible luck, I of course found out I needed the version of the surgery that amounted to another C-section, aided by a camera inserted through my belly button. It was both a laparotomy and laparoscopy.  

To say I was devastated would be a huge understatement. 

I couldn't believe I was going to have to go through another major abdominal surgery and start the healing and recovery process all over again. 

But that's what happened. I had the second surgery at the end of September. It was outpatient this time so I got to sleep in my own bed instead of a hospital bed this time around. The doctor was able to make the abdominal incision on top of my existing C-section scar, and the belly button incision is not noticeable at all. The anesthesia made me puke multiple times again -- once in the car on the drive home. And there's really nothing like the pain of puking after your abs have been sliced open.

Recovery has been long and hard both mentally and physically the second time around. My kiddo is bigger, and I wasn't allowed to lift him for about three weeks post-op. I was incredibly sore for the first week and had to do the same rotation of ibuprofen and Tylenol every three hours like back in July. We luckily had lots of help from my parents, Ben's aunt and Ben's mom. But there is nothing more heartbreaking than hearing my little guy cry and not be able to pick him up to comfort him.

When I had a follow up appointment with my doctor two weeks ago, he was happy with my healing process this time around, which is good, but I'm still not cleared to do any real exercise yet beyond walking. 

So here I am, starting my recovery all over again. I'm doing the scar message and core engagement work, but I'll be honest, I'm not as good about remembering to do it as I was the first time around. It was just really demoralizing to take such a huge step back in the program that I was following, and some days my heart just really isn't into it. 

I am slowly rebuilding my walking endurance. Walking at least gets me out of the house for fresh air. I'm up to three miles of walking now which is great, but not really close to the five miles I was walking pre-surgery. 

And at this point postpartum, I thought I'd be back to running and all my regular activities again. My mom and I had even picked out a race we were planning to do together in December. But now, I have two more weeks of waiting to even get cleared to begin regular exercise again, and that's tough. 

My little guy is almost four months old, but my body is only healed as if I were five weeks postpartum. This has all just been really hard. I know some day it will all be just a blip of a memory, but it has been really frustrating having all my progress wiped out and starting from zero again.

September was not the best month of reading. I started reading so many books that I didn't finish because they just weren't keeping my interest. The few books I did finish this month were a mixed bag. A couple were quite good, others were only so so. 

Five Stars

Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI by David Grann
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This book has been sitting on our bookshelf for years, and I finally got the nudge to pick it up and actually read it, and I'm so glad I did. I didn't know much about the Osage murders before reading this book, and Grann told the story in such a gripping way, it was almost hard to believe it was a nonfiction book. Highly recommend.

Four Stars

The Magnificent Lives of Marjorie Post by Allison Pataki
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I wish I could give half stars because I think this book lands as a 3.5 for me, but I'm rounding up here. I've been to Post's DC Hillwood estate and have really enjoyed the gorgeous grounds and her wild collection of fine art and jewelry, and I was excited to learn a little more about her through this book. While I overall enjoyed the story, I thought there were some parts that were a little slow, and I sort of hated that the book was broken into parts that were based around the men she was married to. In some ways I felt this reduced her a bit too much. But if you can get past that, reading about the fictionalization of the life she lived during the time she was alive was really interesting.

Three Stars

Our Missing Hearts by Celeste Ng
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This book was a bit hard to read, maybe because it's too close to being true with everything going on in this day and age, and I kind of struggled to get through it. Book bans and children being stolen from homes was maybe just a little darker than I was hoping for when I picked up this book.

Without a Hitch by Mary Hollis Huddleston
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I thought I'd like this book more than I did because it seemed like it would hit the right notes for me, but I struggled a bit because I didn't love the main character. Lottie is a bit lost in life. She had big plans in college, but then got sidetracked by her relationship with her college boyfriend. When that relationship blows up just before graduation, Lottie isn't sure what to do with herself. She falls into a job at florist and eventually finds her way to a wedding planning firm. This was a mix of Lottie trying to find herself and a bit of a romance. The romance parts were sweet, the Lottie finding herself parts fell a bit flat for me.

The Guilt Trip by Sandie Jones
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I read this book on the heels of a few other suspense/thriller type books and kept wondering when the murder would happen. Turns out that wasn’t the plot of this book. Instead a group of friends heads to a destination wedding where a secret threatens all their relationships. This book was a bit slow, though toward the end I wanted to keep reading to see if I guessed the twist.

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I read 10 books in August, which is way more than a typical month, and I continue to have late night baby feedings to thank for all the reading I've been getting done. 

My Kindle has been a real work horse lately, and I've developed a newfound appreciation for it. It's just so much easier to read by the light of the Kindle in the middle of night and it's much easier to read that one handed than a physical book at the moment. 

I also continue to reach for lighter, faster and easier reads because my brain can't really process much heavier these days. 

So without further ado, here are the 10 books I read in August -- largely mysteries, thrillers and light-hearted fare. 

Five Stars

Mad Honey by Jodi Picoult
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This book certainly lived up to the hype, and I tore through it. High schooler Asher lives with his mom Olivia, a bee keeper, in a small town, and he loves his girlfriend Lily. This book is told through the perspective of Lily and Asher's mom after Asher is arrested for Lily's death. Lily's story is told backwards in time while Olivia's is told moving forward. It's hard to say too much without giving away one of the bigger surprises in the book, but boy this was so good, and I'm so glad I finally got it off the waitlist at the library.

Four Stars

Pretty Guilty Women by Gina LaManna
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This book pulled me in from the first page and I totally flew through it. A man is killed at a wedding and four different women confess to the crime. But their stories don't quite match the evidence. The book jumps back and forth in time starting from the moment that guests arrive to the lavish wedding and wrapping up with all of them being interviewed by the police. Really enjoyed this as a fun and fast suspense book.

Birth: Three Mothers, Nine Months, and Pregnancy in America by Rebecca Grant
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I found this book super interesting perhaps because I’d just given birth myself. It followed three pregnant woman all of whom hope to give birth at a birth center as opposed to in a hospital. It follows each of their pregnancies as well as looking into how we ended up with the current maternal health situation that we have in this country.

A Very Typical Family by Sierra Godfrey
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is one of the rare books I liked even though I could not stand the main character. She is pretty much insufferable through out the entire book, and I really got sick of the giant pity party she was throwing herself, but the characters surrounding her were so weird and so quirky and the book's storyline was kind of out there, and yet I found myself flying through this book pretty highly entertained.

Three Stars

While Justice Sleeps: A Novel by Stacey Abrams
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Supreme Court Justice Wynn’s health has been deteriorating and he ends up in a coma two weeks before the end of the court’s term. With major decisions hanging in the balance, he chooses a questionable POA to carry out his wishes. This was a great thriller, but some of the science parts of the plot got a bit technical and were a bit hard to follow until later in the story, hence only three stars instead of four.

People We Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I usually tear through Emily Henry's books, but this one was only so so in comparison to some of her others. I think the main reason I wasn't quite as into this book is because I didn't love the main character. And since this book really centers around only two characters, not liking one of them made it hard to love the book overall. It was still a light and fast read, but I'd recommend most of her other books before this one.

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In My Dreams I Hold a Knife by Ashley Winstead
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I feel like this book came highly recommended at some point, but I only felt meh about it. The main character was highly unlikable and was trying too hard to prove herself basically the entire time. A group of friends heads back to college for a reunion. While they're there, they're forced to reckon with the murder of one of their friends that has remained unsolved to this day. The title of this book also didn't make a whole lot of sense to me because there was no knife. The murder weapon was a pair of scissors. I stuck with the story because I was invested in finding out who had done it.

Between Two Strangers by Kate White
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I usually love Kate White's mysteries, but this was just so so for me. A woman gets a call from a lawyer saying she's been left a large inheritance from someone she doesn't know. As she tries to figure out why she's been left this money, strange things start to happen, her apartment gets broken into, her art studio is targeted. By the end of the book, she's eventually able to put the pieces together, but this just moved a little slower for me over all.

The Only One Left by Riley Sager
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Several years ago, tragedy struck the Hope family when the matriarch and patriarch are found stabbed to death and one of their daughters is found hanging in the dining room. Police arrested the other daughter Lenora, but never had the evidence to convict her. Fast forward in time, Kit is hired as a home health aid for Lenora who still lives in the family home, but has suffered a stroke and needs around the clock care. The previous health aid disappeared without a trace, and Kit immediately experiences stranger sounds and noises as soon as she moves in. I usually love Riley Sager's books, but this one was a little slower than some of his others, hence the three star rating.

Must Love Flowers by Debbie Macomber
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This was a sweet book about two woman who've suffered losses trying to determine what their lives look like and how they move forward. Joan is a widow who lost her husband four years ago, and has never been able to move forward. Maggie struggles to deal with an alcoholic father after her mother dies. The two woman form an unlikely friendship as they help each other move forward. This book was just a very cozy and comforting read.