Good morning and happy Thursday!



I treated myself to a chai latte on my chilly walk to work this morning because it's been a while since I've had one, and because I'm starting to feel a little bit better.

In fact, yesterday I actually ate three real meals. I mean they were smaller than usual, but they consisted of real solid food and not applesauce and juice! Winning!

And since I was finally able to eat again yesterday, I decided it was safe to get back in the gym. (When I'm not feeling well enough to eat, working out and burning calories that I'm not consuming seems pretty unsafe.)

I mentally prepped myself for the post-New Year's overcrowding I would face and braced myself for the freezing cold (but at least pretty short) walk to the fitness center.

But when I got there all the doors were locked and the fitness center was totally empty. I asked at the front desk of the building and apparently overnight a pipe had burst, and the gym was "out-of-order" until further notice.

Nooooooooo!!!!

Nothing will completely kill your motivation or frustrate you more than getting up early to work out, getting all the way to the gym and then not being able to get inside.

When I got back home, I was super annoyed that the building hadn't sent an email letting people know the gym was closed. That would have at least saved me some time and frustration. An email eventually came sometime around 3 p.m. Super helpful really.

I'm hoping it doesn't take them too long to get the pipe situation under control. I miss lifting weights (there's something I never thought I'd say) and I do'nt want to fall too far behind with my personal training program.

2014 has certainly not been off to the best start for me, but I'm so over feeling sad and miserable all the time. It's just the worst. So now that I'm back in DC and sort of back into the swing of things, I'm trying my hardest to "turn that frown upside down."

I remember when Ali was Chrons-ing hardcore, she'd do her Thankful Thursday posts as a way to sort of force herself into a positive mood, and while I know it's not yet Thursday, I've decided do one of those posts anyway, because I need it today. (Also, cute baby pictures below.)

I'm thankful my parents are only a short car ride away. So when something crappy happens, I can hastily throw some stuff in a bag and head straight up 95. There's seriously no better place to be than home when you're going through some tough crap.

I'm thankful my parents don't mind me calling them at 9 a.m. on New Year's Day in tears and telling them I'm coming home. Not asking, telling and then showing up looking like a hot mess about 2.5 hours later. I'm sure that's totally how they imagined spending their New Years.

I'm thankful that I have truly amazing friends. They've offered to cram my calendar full of fun social events, make me dinner so that I don't have to cook for myself and pretty much let me move into their houses so I don't have to be all alone in my apartment.

I'm thankful for acquaintances who have gone above and beyond. It's always interesting when you're going through hard stuff to see who comes out of the woodwork to help in some way. I mean I always expected my very close friends to be there for me, but I've been overwhelmed by the kindness I've experienced from other friends in the last few days that I wasn't necessarily expecting.

I'm thankful for my adorable baby cousins. It's really hard to be sad when you're holding this much cuteness in your lap. (P.S. Twins update -- they are both home from the NICU!)


Patrick sound asleep


Cameron pondering the mysteries of the universe

I'm thankful for a job I'm good at working with people I love. I've always found my job to be a fantastic distraction from all the other crap I'm dealing with. I love my job. I'm good at it, and most days, I can pretty easily get lost in my projects. I will now probably have some inexplicable drive to kick more ass than normal. Watch out world.


Our annual holiday picture

I'm thankful that I start teaching again in a few weeks. See the above about work. My class at Maryland starts soon, and I've been putting the finishing touches on my syllabus and assignments. To any future students who may be reading, get ready for an awesome semester. But also brace yourself to get F's because that will definitely happen.

I'm thankful that I've been through this before so that I know I will get through it again. Yep, bet no one was expecting that one. But it's true. My last breakup was a hell of a lot more traumatic than this one. That's not to say this one isn't still sad and hard, but because I've survived worse, I know I'll survive this.

And that's all I've got for today. Happy Tuesday people. I hope you're staying warm.

I hope to be back to regularly scheduled blogging (and hopefully my more cheery self) soon.

Man if I could bottle my body's freakish ability to lose weight after a breakup and sell it to the masses I would be a millionaire.

Yes friends, my heart got dealt a seriously crappy blow on NYE when the guy I had been dating for a little while decided to call it quits pretty much guaranteeing I had the absolute worst New Year's in my life.

(In his defense, it was bad timing, but he didn't maliciously set out to completely ruin my New Year's. He's not a mean person. Please don't bash him in the comments.)

The only reason I can be this glib about it now is because I'm fairly certain there are no tears left. (At least not right now, give it another hour and I'm sure they'll be back.)

So yea, it's been a rough few days, and 2014 is not off to the best start ever. Man am I grateful that I was working from home today because I could not have handled trying to get dressed and pretending everything was hunky-dory at the office.

But back to this weight loss thing after breakups or in general times of very high stress or anxiety. When that happens to me, I literally cannot eat food. Hell, half the time I can't even stand the smell of food without feeling sick to my stomach.

So I have to force myself to drink a bunch of juice because I know I need the calories. And then eventually I can graduate to applesauce, and sometimes pudding and soup.

Last time I dealt with a breakup, I couldn't eat solid food for something like two or three weeks. It's only been a few days so far this time around, and I've already destroyed a massive jar of applesauce. I'm hoping my food aversions won't last as long this time around or else I'm going to waste away to nothing.

Does anyone else experience such strong food aversions during sad times or high stress or anxious times?