F is for FAILURE

by - Friday, July 27, 2007

****I start off with a disclaimer: This post will be fulllll of negativity, apologies now****

AHHHHHHHHHH I AM SO FRUSTRATED (enough to use capital letters!)

Today's run sucked. It was awful, horrible, pathetic. Frankly there was not one good thing about it. (No seriously I spent my time stretching thinking what I could find good in this experience. I got a big fat load of NOTHING!)

I am not going to even bothering recording the time and distance because it sucked and I don't even know if it's right because I had to stop and stretch sooooo many times.

Ok so now for something slightly more coherent to explain previous rant about sucky run:
I was so pysched for today's run. Set the alarm for 5:30. Realized it was still kinda dark so bumped it back to 5:55. Perfect. Got up, threw on my running stuff, downed a Clif Bar (in not one of my fav. flavors...perhaps a sign of future crappiness with this run), grabbed my Propel from the fridge and learning from last week's mistake of not taking anything to eat part way through, I stuffed a pack of Sports Beans in my shorts waistband.

I was good to go. I mapped out the nine miles I was going to do on Gmaps yesterday and I was ready to get going.

I jogged down the six flights of steps from my apartment to the lobby and then stretched outside (my quasi-warm-up). I started out slow, knowing full well I was going to need to conserve energy if I wanted to get through all nine miles.

Well turns out all my pre-run prep. and conservative running were useless. At about the 10:20 mark I had to stop and stretch my calves because they were really tight. I wasn't sure why and I was only slightly annoyed that I had to stop and stretch. I figured they just needed to be loosened up and then I would be good to go for the rest of the time.


After stretching I started running again, nice and slow and steady. I started to feel them tightening up again about five minutes later. But I figured I'd try to keep going for a little bit and see if movement helped them loosen. At the top of a big hill at about 23 or 24 minutes, I stopped to stretch again. Except this time it hurt to stretch. So I walked in circles around the tree, trying to get my calves to release and then spent about five minutes stretching them out against the tree.

Then I said, "Okay, Self, we're going to get through all nine miles even if we have to stopped and stretch after every single one."

And with that thought in mind I set out to tackle mile three. While my brain was in the right place to finish nine miles, my legs had other plans: cramp, tightening, knot up, whatever you want to call it. Force Jess to walk mile or so back home.

I am pissed and angry and disappointed and I want to tell my legs to go sit in the corner for failing me so miserably today. Maybe if I had lower expectations for this run I wouldn't be so disappointed, but frankly that is not the case. I had ridiculously high expectations that were then dashed. I am being so overly dramatic. Apologies. But seriously....AHHHH!!!

Also if this were three weeks ago, maybe I wouldn't be freaking out so much. But it's getting to be crunch time for the marathon. I have three more weeks of solid training and then it's time to taper. I want to be sure I'm ready by then and if I'm having these stupid leg issues I don't know if I will be. GAHH!!!!

I may try to see if I can do the nine tomorrow. Or at least some semblance of distance tomorrow. But I don't know how likely that is. A friend of mine is coming down for the weekend and we had all sorts of stuff planned for tonight and tomorrow. So I really don't know what my time schedule will look like.


And on that note, I'm going to go stomp around my apartment for a while. Kick the furniture. Punch a pillow. You know, basically throw a temper tantrum. (Hello, five-year old self). But I will have to do so quietly as my roommates are all still asleep.

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  1. Tight calves suck, but so do cramps and torn muscles! Very smart of you to listen to your body. There is all kinds of reasons that could be the cause of the tightness, I'm sure, you'll figure it out and persevere!!!

  2. Sorry! Well, we won't be heading out till after breakfast tommorow, so if you want you could run before then...not that that's any fun. Good luck! Remember, no matter how little you run, I can run less, so don't feel too down :)

  3. Anonymous10:59 AM

    Feel free to stomp, pout, yell, and be a complete grump. I know how those days go and they just plain suck. Next run will be better!

  4. AHHHH!!!!

    There is one good thing - the next run can be nothing but better. Right??

  5. I'm afraid to say anything :|

    wish i could give you a hug and take you out for a beer :)

  6. Anonymous7:37 PM

    Bummer. :( Whenever I have a bad run, I have to tell myself "at least that's out of the way for awhile." Usually, it's better the next run.

    I would suggest a deep tissue massage for your calves. It will be torturous, but very worth it! Also, are you hydrating enough during the day (when you aren't running?)

    Tell those legs who's the boss and head on out tomorrow. :)

  7. It wasn't failure! Even a stab at a run is better then no run! The next one will be so much better!!

  8. ((Jess)) I am SO sorry. I hope your calves feel better soon.

  9. I've had plenty of good intentions gone wrong. For whatever reason, you just needed to rest or something. Don't let it get you down...try again on another day. :)

  10. jessy wessy- The devil on your shoulder is telling you to come try my newest, horrible for your runner's diet treat. smores cupcakes. I'm meeting Jen for dinner, but after dinner mind if i drop by and bring some goodies to you gals? Will you be awake and around at like 10:30?

  11. Anonymous9:53 AM

    I think we all have bad runs, that fact that this didn't stop you from going out and trying again proves something. Good luck.